Another Chinese Funeral

Trivia

"You masuk Islam sudah berapa lama?" My indian colleague asked me
"Tiga tahun." I smiled and answered.

"Ohh... You masuk itu Islam sebab kahwin sama perempuan melayu ke?"
I was hesitated in answer his question.

"Sekarang you tak boleh makan di kedai cina lagi lah?" He added

I was frowning my forehead with this kind of "FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions".
If he is muslim I would probably say "Ya alhamdulilah, saya kembali kepada Islam." But dealing with non muslim in reality it's somehow inappropriate, they are hoping some kind of confirmation inside their heart rather than congrats to my personal decision. So I choose another kind of way in answering him.

"Semua orang pun ada pandangan yang berbeza tentang agama. Macam you juga ada pandangan agama tertentu tu benar, saya pula rasa agama Islam itu benar. Saya terjumpa jawapan sendiri dalam agama Islam, jadi saya pun masuk Islam. Itu sahaja."
"Ye la... Saya bukan apa, saya mahu tahu you pasal apa masuk Islam saja mah.. Tapi saya tengok bukan semua orang Islam pun macam you begitu....."

"Ramai orang selalu bertukar agama sebab apa? Sebab mereka sentiasa mencari-cari jawapan dalam agama. Macam you juga la, you rasa you punya agama betul itulah pandangan you sendiri. Saya pun tak boleh cakap apa-apa mah."
"Saya tahu... Agama Islam paling awal datang ke China dulu kan? Itu Nabi Muhammad suruh sahabatnya berdakwah ke Negara China dulu dan kemudian ke Negara India pula."

"Eh..? You pun tahu pasal Islam disebar ke arah China dulu?"
"Saya dapat A dalam subjek Sejarah STPM you tahu ke? Sebenarnya I pun ada juga minat dengan Islam, Cuma I tak berdaftar menjadi Muslim sepenuh masa saja."

I feel surprised with his answer. The only thing is I can't tell whether he was telling truth or not. As Iman is unable to see with eyeballs except the acknowledgement of God alone. I just can't tell and only Allah SWT is All-Knowing.

Dan di antara manusia ada yang berkata: “Kami telah beriman kepada Allah dan kepada hari akhirat”; padahal mereka sebenarnya tidak beriman.

(Al-Baqarah : 8 )


Grand Ma Is Passed Away

I was standing beside grand ma's coffin and staring at her face. Where it have an opened glass window to let relatives have a last peep of her, just like a sealed window glass. She seems lying inside there peacefully, no more suffered from chest pain and gone away at age 80.

This is also my most frightened moment. My mother was arguing with me after I embraced Islam :" I'll see how you going to attend my mother's funeral, since you are so fanatic in becoming malay and forgotten your descendant's tradition." I wasn't really replied to her question, just remain silent like hush puppies. It's a tough issue between my mother and me, where I strictly follow Islam's syariah and insisted not doing any tradition that against syariah, which is workship other than God.

At last I was attending my grand ma's funeral too. My brother was criticize to family that I won't turn up in this sort of funeral, since I am no more chinese style or whatever. In a matter of fact I attended in giving respect to those who still alive yet not following any ritual that brings syirik. I can't remember how many years I have been not visit most of my relatives and cousins, they seems a bit unfamiliar with me while I was turn up from nowhere.

Some of my cousins didn't really welcome me, they seems not even interested to talk with me. After a while I recalled that I wasn't attend their marriage ceremony which held at chinese seafood restaurant. I just don't know how to avoid consume beer and pork at such restaurant so I was chosen not to attend.

Well... All of my relatives remains unknown about my religion status.

Standing In The Crowd

It was the last day of funeral, according to buddhism it must be prayed day and night for 5 days before it get buried. The only different is my grand ma chosen in "cremation" way while she was alive. (Pembakaran mayat) I still can feel there was an unpleasant smell after the coffin putted for 5 days although I was standing far away from the house.

All of my relatives and grand ma's neighbor is crowded all over funeral ceremony.
At the moment, I found out that my might is very small and little in standing on the right path. Everyone were busy in preparing for the last praying ceremony and waiting for the monk, I was standing far away from it and fallen into deep thought. It seems like the history of Prophet Muhammad SAW is keep repeating at our daily life, where Islam insist in forbidden descendant's tradition that brings syirik.

As a small tiny role in my family tree, I don't have much power to speak out my voice about the reason of why they shouldn't follow descendant's path. It's an important family tradition to whole family and relatives who flowing chinese blood inside. Never tried to challenge old folk's words, just obey to the eldest decision.

That's the reason I still being stealth Muslim in protecting my faith. This is a never ending religion conflicts till the end of world. My might is still very small in declare my religion status, the least thing I can do is only protect my own faith.

Dan mereka (yang mengingkari kerasulan Nabi Muhammad itu) merasa hairan, bahawa mereka didatangi oleh seorang Rasul pemberi amaran, dari kalangan mereka sendiri. Dan mereka yang kafir itu berkata: “Orang ini adalah seorang ahli sihir, lagi pendusta. 

” Patutkah ia menafikan tuhan-tuhan yang berbilang itu dengan mengatakan: Tuhan hanya Satu? Sesungguhnya ini adalah satu perkara yang menakjubkan!”

Dan (ketika itu) keluarlah ketua-ketua dari kalangan mereka (memberi peransang dengan berkata): “Jalan terus (menurut cara penyembahan datuk nenek kamu) dan tetap tekunlah menyembah tuhan-tuhan kamu. Sebenarnya sikap ini adalah satu perkara yang amat dikehendaki.

” Kami tidak pernah mendengar tentang (soal mengesakan Tuhan) itu dalam ugama yang terakhir; perkara ini tidak lain hanyalah rekaan dan dusta semata-mata”.

(Sad : 4-7)    

Which Path To Go?

"Are you going to follow us turning around your grand ma's coffin and praying for her?" My mother Asked. I was silent and hesitated. "Just a very last time for your dear grand ma, is your religion so hard that forbid you to bless your own grand ma?"

It really struggled my mind and soul. My mother was begging me to do one last praying ceremony also avoid other relatives gossip about I have no longer follow family traditions. Gossip kills a cat too.

At last, I was telling my mother :"Sorry, I think I should go somewhere else."
"Alright alright, then you should take the back path of house and don't you ever let anyone see your existence. I will call you when we finished the praying ceremony."

Although I attended my grand ma funeral, I insisted not holding joss stick or praticing any other praying ceremony. It's seems so easy to follow the theory but it's very hard to walk away from the mist of ritual and sadness.


I was sitting in my car and look at the sky blue clouds.
It was so calming.

Bad Signs Or Sweet Coincidence

There are two things about grand ma that captured my attention.

The first one is few days before my grand ma passed away, the day I visited her at hospital. I still remember she was lying on the bed but she still able to talk with good strenght, as if she is never sicked before. I was just smiling at here and nothing much to talk, she was telling my father that she feel pain while coughed.

I left hospital and feel relief, she seems healthy and shouldn't be anything to worry about. After funeral finished, my father telling me that she was fall sick badly and lying on bed whole day. But she turn out to be cherish and able to talk a lot on the day I visited her. She even joking and chit chat with those relatives after I left.

"Perhaps that's a bad sign of she going to leave us, she turn out to be cherish and healthy then fall asleep forever."

I don't know whether that's a bad sign according to my father or just sweet coincidence for having the last memories with my grand ma, I still believe that everyone's life is controlled by the God who creates universal. He is Al-Mighty in controlling every lives and dead.

Dan mereka (yang kafir) itu berkata: “Adakah apabila kami telah hilang lenyap dalam tanah, kami pula akan hidup semula dalam bentuk kejadian yang baharu? Betulkah demikian? ” (Mereka bukan sahaja tidak percaya tentang hidup semula) bahkan mereka tidak percaya tentang pertemuan dengan Tuhannya.

Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad); “Nyawa kamu akan diambil oleh Malikil Maut yang ditugaskan berbuat demikian ketika habis ajal kamu, kemudian kamu akan dikembalikan kepada Tuhan kamu (untuk menerima balasan)”.

(As-Sajdah : 10-11)


Bad Dreams

The second one is about my grand ma's bad dream.

"While I was accompany your grand ma at hospital for the last few nights, she was dreaming and muttering : " I feel very hot.... It's very hot in here, how long do I have to walk?". I guess your grand ma is knowing that she will be sent to cremation." My mother told me this while on the way back from cremation center.

I can't analysis dream, but for sure I know what it roughly means.

The answer can be very controversial. I just telling my mother don't think too much, she was very ill in sickness and makes her drown in nightmares.
We all know the spirit/roh is exist but no one able to capture one and do research on it. Because that's beyond our knowledge level we don't even know do it exist at the same dimensions we are living now.

Dan mereka bertanya kepadamu tentang roh. Katakan: “Roh itu dari perkara urusan Tuhanku; dan kamu tidak diberikan ilmu pengetahuan melainkan sedikit sahaja”.

(Al-Israa : 85)

Conclusion : Ritual And God's Religion

From what I know, ancient Egyptians do have their specific view about Roh/spirit.  From artwork we may know it seems like a bird with human head in charge for "install" and "uninstall" spirit, where pharaoh will become divine one day. 

Why bird is related in describing spirit? Because human's mind is limited in knowing the greatest myth of God, or I should say no one able to understand the most out of God's unlimited knowledge in handling His creations. What human able to do is only observe universal and nature with the helps of science equipment, thus that's still a lot more mystery awaits human to discover.

The bird is taken as an theory because according to their limited view and mind, spirit should be able to carry away and put it back again.... with the helps of bird? That's clearly showed that human is always stuck inside their assumption and self made theory.

We are unable to know anything except what God have shows us, we can't see without Might of God in giving us eyes and sense, we can't think without brains that far over achieved than any other creatures on earth. What God have been command us to do is very simple, workship Him and never takes others as god except Allah SWT alone.

Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One, 

Allah , the Eternal Refuge.

He neither begets nor is born,

Nor is there to Him any equivalent."

(Al-Ikhlas)   

Reference :
http://paleoglot.blogspot.com/2010/11/what-sort-of-soul-is-egyptian-ka.html
(None of the birdie is hurt their head in this religion theory)