Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Would You Marry Me?

Gambar hiasan semata-mata..

I was met a china friend at internet. She get to know me through my chinese blog. She asked me a lot about Islam information because she does have muslim boyfriend at Malaysia. Where they were plan to get married so as usual she was asked to embrace Islam.

It’s hard to find islamic knowledge in chinese language, since she is china’s civilian. I have few islamic books but all of them are written in Bahasa Malaysia. So I was try hard to translate every answer from my book into chinese language while she ask me at Internet. For few months of communicating through MSN, She tells me a lot about China and herself.
“I don’t like to eat pork since I was small, perhaps I should say I never eat at all. My friends also teasing at me that I'm looks like muslim even though  I am not.”
Alhamdulilah, I think she have potiential to learn more about Islam. So I give away all of my effort in translate islamic knowledge to her.
“He asked me to convert so we can get married at Malaysia. But I am just don’t understand why Malaysia have such law? Because at China there’s no such law, everyone are feel free to embrace any religion they wanted.. Or I should say religion and marriage is never become an issue in China.”
Well.. This is a complicated question which related to Syariah Law in Malaysia. I was not dare to asnwer it but just get to know a little bit more about China’s politic and laws.

For few months of chatting with her at internet, I written a lot of islamic information and she seems try hard to understand it. Like why muslim don’t drink beer, why muslimah must be wearing hijab and sort of information. She also tell me that boyfriend’s family were welcome her to their house, just she can’t understand Malaysia’s language while they were chit chat. As I know she take flight from China to Malaysia few days in every month for dating with her boyfriend. (Seems like she is raised up in wealthy family)

Untill one day, she told me this…
“Actually… My boyfriend and his father are drinkers. That’s why we are easy to get along since we met at Malaysia.”
“I am just don’t understand… What’s the point if I am following every islamic knowledge as you explained and do it well, but my marriage partner will not follow it at all?” 

I was totally shocked. 
Since that day, I didn’t know much to write anymore while she asked me again about Islam. How can she follow Islam while her partner is not? How they live their marriage while her boyfriend just want her to apply a “Permit to get married” by asking her embrace Islam? Dakwah is responsible for every muslim, but when embrace Islam being treated as “Permit in Law”.. I can’t even imagine how’s that gonna be.
I am not intend to insult malaysian muslim or Islam, but just wanted to share the real story from my friend. When Islam is being practised for their Nafsu, it would turn into very terrible hoax from themselves. I also recalled lots of cases happened in Malaysia like muallaf wanted to murtad, reason given is they never practice Islam and their husband/wife have left them away, which makes them think what’s the point if they keep on embracing Islam since their partner have been leave them away.

At the next month, She message me at msn again :“I am break up with my boyfriend already.. I am accidentally saw his phone records that he have another girlfriend. That’s why he keeps on hide his handphone while we are dating, now I am understand everything already.. It’s hurt but I think I should leave him, he is not appreciated what I have been sacrifice.”

Alhamdulilah, the only thing I would say.
After that, she is not asked anything about Islam with me anymore. I also understand that I can’t force her.. Perhaps I should say only Allah swt may open her heart one day, Insyaallah.

Dan apabila dikatakan kepada mereka: Janganlah kamu membuat bencana dan kerosakan di muka bumi, mereka menjawab: sesungguhnya kami orang yang hanya membuat kebaikan. Ketahuilah! Bahawa sesungguhnya mereka itulah orang yang sebenarnya membuat bencana dan kerosakan, tetapi mereka tidak menyedarinya.

(Surah Al-Baqarah 11-12)


  1. yups...
    this happen today to all Malay Muslim
    I'am also have my friend who Muslim but become the drinkers....
    I dont know how to help them because they actually now what they are doing is wrong..
    so, I'm just one day they will be change their life from the bad habit to Islam life

    nice entry....

  2. This is sad ... I was wondering how come her former boyfriend didn't guide her about Islam or channel her to the right sources. Now I know why ...

  3. Salam...Just did blog walking and found yours. Love this entry as you try hard to explain to her. Quote from Hans comment 'this happen to all malay muslim'~> i don't think so because NOT ALL but several do live this wrong way of life. pray to Allah for the changes.

    Anyway...solute for your hardwork and good job! Keep on spreading the good words and dakwah!

  4. Born as a Muslim is not a guaranty that you will be a good Muslim. That is why if you listen to one of the nasyid lyric by Raihan, as per quote "IMAN TAK DAPAT DI WARISI DARI SEORG AYAH YG BERTAQWA,"

    They might be muslim but the didn't practice the Islamic life. Islam is the way of life. How do we act, talk. Every single things!

    To some people, ISLAM is a RELIGION that wrote in IC's. It meaningless, but to those who know what does Islam means, they will appreciate and cheerish it.

    By the way, I always read your blog silently. But this entries is one of a wonderful entries. Keep a good works on writing.

    1. well said
      I studied at catholic school from elementary until senior high school, my father is not from muslim family, it can be said I late to learn islam, but since then I try to practice, because I love ALLAH

  5. There is a translation of Al Quran in the Chinese language. It is difficult even for Muslims to obtain a Chinese translation in China. It is very precious to them.You can get a copy from Macma.

    Perkim as well as Macma has some brochures in the Chinese language. Macma has some Mandarin speaking brothers and sisters. Do contact the Admin Officer for advice. Perhaps you can offer to send her some pamphlets even if she did not ask. She deserves to at least know the truth about Islam and keep the door open in case she wants to know more.

    May Allah bless and guide you so you can help others in search of the truth. Just go to their website and get some info.

  6. Hans :

    Well it's hard to say because not all muslim are doing that.. however do hope your friend will be stop drinking...

  7. Hajar:

    well it's sad to know that too, however they separated already..

  8. ~~yuki~~ :

    Chinese community is still very lack of Islamic knowledge, so I was just do my little effort to dakwah.. Even though not everyone would listen to me, but i would very appreciate those friend who willing to share story and ask about Islam with me..

    1. A-salam,

      Hi my name is moeen from india, i would to know more abt chinese muslims do u think u can help me

  9. diyanordin :

    Thanks for be my silent reader.. Appreciate it. I love his song very much too, "IMAN TAK DAPAT DI WARISI DARI SEORG AYAH YG BERTAQWA"... This is the truth that everyone are need to find the path of Islam on their own, even I embrace Islam also failed to explain what Islam really means to my father.

    Islam is a way of life.. the true religion for mankind, but some people are just leave it with name only..

  10. Noorshin :

    Hmm.. your comment reminds me of my chinese Al-Quran. Perhaps I should post it to her.. Now she is studying at Singapore, may be if I know any braches at there I would inform her..

  11. Same experience....
    I managed to know one girl who is mualaf n just divorce. Her original religion is christian, she revert when she marry a muslim man. However, later divorced

    She does not know islam a lot. I try to teach her everything about islam. N she is looking for muslim partner but to fail...I thought it will difficult for her to find partner since she is janda n has 4 children.

    Howevr, one day, she stop sending my message. After some investigation, i found that she convert back to her old religion because she has meet a christian partner who love her

  12. seijiseimura84 :

    Thanks for your sharing of experience.. I believe this is what happening at Malaysia oftenly, We can force people to embrace Islam forcefully, otherwise they would back to the old path too

  13. Hans: not all Malay Muslim....I'm a Malay muslim...sejak kanak2 aku tak pernah minum arak walaupun setitik.......

  14. assalamualaikum..
    i was attracted to read this post..i think that your story in this post was often happened in malaysia..non-muslim embrace islam so that they get married with muslim and i know it's hard to you to introduce islam to her when her partner is just islam in his name but not practicing the muslim life like what you have told her..there's a lot of way people can embrace islam.but i think,the awareness and consiousness about islam must come deep inside ones heart same goes to you when you are wondering and searching all the incident that happen surrounding us right?and the most importantly,,all those happen because of the guideness from hope one day your friend also might thinking the truthfulness in life because before this she had learn some basic in our religion from you..inshaallah..

  15. Walaikumsalam.

    Yup that is happening very often at Malaysia, most people have been forgot the real meaning of Islam and only practice it the most at marriage time. So far she have been finished her master studies and back to China. Only Allah SWT know where her heart will go, especially Islam in China is getting weakening by their nation politic.

    inshaAllah, one day she might turn back to Islam too.

  16. Kasihanya.. Saya doakan dia terbuka hati untuk menerima islam.

  17. salam Bro..this situation is almost similar on which especially being a Muslim revert myself, came from a 'jahiliyah' and topsy turby social life and now wanted to 'hijrah'& change for good, I have to admit that it is hard when 99% of my life is being surrounded my Malay @ Muslim friends yet they arent practising Muslims. It DID deterred my intention to continue living life as a Muslim in those early days as they are sort of not against it but they are just not getting along with me well, anymore. However, hidayah comes from Allah & nothing can chnge that. Alhamdulillah, HE has made it easy for myself to endure life on my own despite all the all rounded challenges in my life.


  18. Al-Baqarah 2:221. And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. From

  19. Assalamualaikum i would like to know more about chinese muslims do u think u can be any help

    1. Walaikumsalam, sure you may ask any question via email :

      Also, you can have a glance about Chinese Muslims at this website :

  20. I have a friend. He is a preacher himself. I am quite attracted to his method. they way he approached and teaches another friend of mine. the first thing, he made it clear to that guy( Guy A) that in order to know Islam, he must clear his intention. That Guy A must know, he is here today because Allah want him to get to know him. He is not here because her gf asked him to learn about Islam. So one day, Allah will test him and that might include losing his gf. So he must stay believe that Allah want him to get to know his religion through his gf, and hence he must steadfast for whatever happens in the future.

    1. it's like someone pointing at the moon, tell us that the moon is at that direction. but by pointing finger towards the moon doesn't mean we have to look at the finger only, or by pointing it we may reach to the moon. It's a "direction" that tell us there is the moon, the sign and hint that the moon is right there.

      Same goes to Hidayah, Allah SWT gives His guidance in what we can barely understand while only Him Knows Best. Everyone of us might be just a little link or direction to guide others towards Allah SWT, eventually still the servants themselves moving forward to Islam in their own will and might.

  21. assalamualaikum, izin share

    terimakasih :)


Assalamualaikum wbt and welcome to my blog...
May contact me via 012-3979998 or email if you have any private message.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...