Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Underground Muslim

I have been read about chinese muslim in newspaper few weeks ago. What mentioned in article roughly like this : Most of the time chinese muslim will become awkward with their religion status and muslim name, they will be criticized and looked down by Malaysian no matter chinese or malay.

*WhyMalaysian cannot accept chinese muslim?
>At Malaysia, muslim have been given a lot of benefits compared to non muslim. This special policy have been attracted many peoples reverted blindly simply because they want to earn some allowance from Gov. Some people even reverted just because they thought it would make them easier to become Malaysian Citizen. When this problem occured too often, malaysian would assume every reverted muslim are having their intention on muslim’s allowance and benefits from gov.

Would it be different if the so called allowance (Sedekah) not given to them?
Islam is the most fair religion, reverted muslim occasionally facing a lot of financial and family problem. According to history, even Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. was threaten by non muslim untill he Hijrah with his followers. That’s why sedekah need given to the poor and muallaf (for few years), not because of money politic like what have been criticized by some folks.

I live my life as underground muslim.
None of my relative and friends know I have been reverted and married. My family feel shame on me, they want to take care of their family dignity and even “advised” me don’t get any children so soon. I don’t mind with their decision and excuses, because I have been move out from house before I reverted. None of my chinese friends know I am reverted either. This would be heart breaking news for them.

It’s too hard to explain what Islam really about to non muslim. I am just a servant of Allah swt, I am not capable to change the whole world. I would rather live my life as muslim silently, I don’t like to explain how much I love Islam and Allah swt to people around me. I am ignore every negative comments from my family, I am just want to follow what have been told by Allah swt.

At the same time I am not leaving my family, I bring my wife and daughter meet them sometime. I know it’s hard for them to accept us totally, but I try to do my best as their son.

When I am walking on the street, I am just another chinese muallaf..


  1. Assalam Alaikum,

    It's just lousy when bad politics and religion are all mixed up...

    Who are the people to come up with reasons for people who reverts... Only Allah(SWT) knows their intentions~

    There're just soOooo much prejudice out in the world~ I always remind myself that all we can do is just to keep ourselves on the deen~ People will eventually know how pretty and sweet Islam is through my actions and behaviour! =)

    Stay strong!

    May Allah(SWT) makes the non-muslims know how wonderful the deen is through us! Ameen~

  2. Asmlkm Ikhwan....I really undertand ur feelings...that's what I'm feeling now...i can't expect my non-muslim friend to be happy after I reverted...most of them shocked and even tried to 'brainwash' me...most of them talk behind my back...sabar je...even now, i still don't have the courage to tell my parents after 1 month plus I've reverted. I just prayed to Allah to help me in this journey. But definitely, I never regretted. I'm proud to be a Muslim...Amin...

  3. Assalamu'alaikum,
    Brother Ikhwan,I beleive it takes time for people to accept people who embrace Islam. I'm not an expert, but just look at Rasulullah's struggle before. He faced so many trial and tribulations just to spread the words of Allah. Subhanallah. In fact, same thing happend to other prophets like prohet Nuh who was rejected even by his family,his own blood.

    Akh, you don't have to worry about those people who give a bad look or making faces as you embraced Islam. Show them that Islam is full with love and compassion. Da;wah bil Hal is much more effective I believe =)

    As for me, right now I have this chinese friend who is a christian by faith. we are quite close in fact. I'm trying to do da'wah bil hal more with him by exposing him to my friends who are coming from various ethnicities yet having one faith i.e. Islam. InsyaAllah, im planning to ask him for an iftar with a couple of friends. For me, it is not so much about 'preaching' rather it is all about sharing the message. Even a simple act of kindness may show the beauty of Islam =)

  4. Assalamualaikum brother Ikhwan. We can't please everyone, and it must be tough for you to undergo all these. In your struggle, remember that Allah S.W.T is with you. Have faith in Allah S.W.T, and seek strength from Him. Insha'Allah, there will come a time when your family and friends can accept your reversion with an open heart. Be patient, and please continue to live your life as a Muslim. :)

  5. Khadijah :

    Wslm.. Yes only Allah swt knows everything. Hopefully one day non-muslim may know the beauty of Islam on their own..

    Wslm... COngrats to you that back to Allah swt, two years reverted but only one of my friend knew it. Because he seems can't believe with what I have done. Honestly Hidayah is right of Allah swt, only muslim understand the importance and beauty of Islam.

    May Allah swt open your parent's heart.. Amin..

  6. TheHumbleWayfarer:
    wslm... Congrats on your effort, christian is most close with Islam actually because they do believe Religion is come from Sky. But the trinity and lots "modification" in Bible have make them confused with what life really means.

    When I was reading History of Prophet, I most love Prophet Ibrahim and Muhammad s.a.w. Because I have the same feeling of what they faced.

    I only can share my little knowledge and view about Islam if there's anyone curious about it. But I am rarely talk about Islam with those non believer.

  7. Hajar:

    Wslm.. yes it's very tough, I keep on pray to Allah swt for giving me strength to face every challenges in my life. It's not easy to live as chinese muslim, so far I don't have any chinese muslim friend in my workplace or neighbour. It's quite lonely huh..

    Insha'Allah..Everyone would accept me as muslim and never have prejudice on me.

  8. ikhwan;

    STANDUP FOR YOURSELF!!! .. My mother inlaw is Chinese, My brother wife chinese , i married to half chinese, we celebrate CHY , we have 12 uncle and aunty and they too celebrate raya with us . Every year with all the BMW and Merc park infront of my mother inlaw house ( a small one story terrace house ) and we never feel threaten of embarrass. We proud to what we are. STAND UP , CHIN UP . You have done GREAT to yourself and show the BEST it. Knowing Chinese , they only pun their money and luck in something they confident worth the fortune. So BIT IT!!!. Are U worth the fortune??

  9. Saif:

    thanks for your sharing, your family is very special because many marriage linkage with chinese. Everytime while people ask me how many people of my family reverted to Islam? Well only me alone..

    However I know that Hidayah Allah swt is greatest, I am glad to know about Islam and reverted. Hope my family would be joyness like yours..

  10. Salam my bro. I know when you are become muslim you have very tough especially when you are underground muslim but you are very strong. If you have time maybe can visit my blog can help you when people ask you why islam???? or my blog about teaching muallaf


    Wslm bro.. Sure no problem I will promote your blog..

  12. I am going through that and the thought of going back to my parents place just makes the kids scream and whine but they are their grandparents and we too have to accept that not all will revert like us. About zakat, let me just share something- I am a single mother and I went high and low begging for money just to feed and educate the kids. Now I have a job (just 2 weeks ago) and my struggle is to get a house that I can own. Zakat is just to help ease the burden and its not luxury, some may say we misused the money but I take my kids for chicken at a fast food restaurant as I was not allowed to cook previously and now with a small pay we have veg almost daily and eat out as a treat and to replenish our protein intake. Have any of you thought that way. Children that grow up in shelters rebel and have nothing to do, therefore shopping for their essentials and providing the best alternatives is what a mother can do. I have been in severe depression just looking at them but that is reality. When we embrace Islam we lose a lot but we only gain Allah. Allah repays slowly for that matter but not all can endure the pain. I smile like as though I am happy without problems but that smiley face has a lot of secrets and silent sufferings. Brother Ikhwan, stay strong and lets hope many reverts especially single mothers will at least have a home (they own) and not live in shelter or the mercy of others. I feel so ashamed begging but unfortunately I have to swallow my pride and do what is in the best interest for the kids. I hope my proposal for every Muslim developer to allocate 1 unit for single working mother would be a reality. Help me make that a reality especially for those who struggle to make ends meet.

  13. Tridass :

    Honestly I am very respecting single mother who strives for their Iman and raise up kids. There are a lot of effort and money needed however most people doesn't realize about it. Insyaallah I will stay strong and you too trisdass.. Hope to know more from you, please add my fb at "Ikhwan Ng".

  14. trisdass;

    apart from zakat branches, there are a part that took special care for new muslim's brothers and sisters. they provided fund for reasons as have been stated by ikhwan ng in the above said articles. u can also apply for jabatan kebajikan masyarakat for monthly allowance. provided that u are a single mother + got kids + not wealth + and a new muslim sisters i'm pretty sure u re eligible for the above said fund. go and try for it. even if u are a receiver of zakat but that are a special fund and i believe it can co-exist with jkm's monthly allowance.

    about owning a house, i know how difficult there is to own an even a new small house. if u decide to own one like everyone else through loan from bank, forgive me for saying this but even if u wait for 15 years and put ur name in listing, it is hardly to get one as they are profit oriented regulatory bodies, they care-less about the poor or ur story. my advice, is put ur shame and face aside, do a regular contact with ur nearest jabatan agama and tell ur story to them. sent a letter to kementerian pembangunan wanita dan masyarakat, tell ur story. ask them to put ur name into what-so-ever if any existing waiting list that u might not know with.

    during my studying days, i came to realize that in this modern era, what is more important then money is information. u miss this information u might miss a whole lot of opportunities and chances. there are a lot of funding bodies out there who will guide u, provide u with funds, help u start a business without u have to pay back, u failed go back to seminars then they will help u start again.

    stay away from shark loans no matter how hard ur life is and always remember my good new muslim brothers and sister, the almighty god ALLAH s.w.t will not test u on things that u re not capable to deal with, if ALLAH test u on a matter that means u can endure it and that is the limit of u knowing only to ALLAH, things that we cannot comprehend. and also remember that any difficulties that are tested on muslims are a way to wash away small sins that u might have done in the past, if ALLAH wills it.

    i almost went crying reading ur quote and brother ikhwan difficulties but being a mere human i will pray for u guys. and there are no persons, or things that are more eligible to help u guys rather then the god HIM-self.

    i was thinking how fortunate i am to be born ISLAM though me myself got chinese and malay blood inside of me and things were made easy for me and because of that i take ISLAM as granted. god knows how jealous i am that u guys are being choosen to receive light and hidayah to get to know ISLAM then just inherited it..

  15. Mae :

    Thanks for your comments and support, yes all of us should be ask help from Allah SWT not humans.. Only Him may show us the path.

    There are no different between born muslim or revert muslim, we all still the same Umat. The difference is just revert realize Islam at elder ages and need to strive hard on society.


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