Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Another Chinese Funeral


"You masuk Islam sudah berapa lama?" My indian colleague asked me
"Tiga tahun." I smiled and answered.

"Ohh... You masuk itu Islam sebab kahwin sama perempuan melayu ke?"
I was hesitated in answer his question.

"Sekarang you tak boleh makan di kedai cina lagi lah?" He added

I was frowning my forehead with this kind of "FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions".
If he is muslim I would probably say "Ya alhamdulilah, saya kembali kepada Islam." But dealing with non muslim in reality it's somehow inappropriate, they are hoping some kind of confirmation inside their heart rather than congrats to my personal decision. So I choose another kind of way in answering him.

"Semua orang pun ada pandangan yang berbeza tentang agama. Macam you juga ada pandangan agama tertentu tu benar, saya pula rasa agama Islam itu benar. Saya terjumpa jawapan sendiri dalam agama Islam, jadi saya pun masuk Islam. Itu sahaja."
"Ye la... Saya bukan apa, saya mahu tahu you pasal apa masuk Islam saja mah.. Tapi saya tengok bukan semua orang Islam pun macam you begitu....."

"Ramai orang selalu bertukar agama sebab apa? Sebab mereka sentiasa mencari-cari jawapan dalam agama. Macam you juga la, you rasa you punya agama betul itulah pandangan you sendiri. Saya pun tak boleh cakap apa-apa mah."
"Saya tahu... Agama Islam paling awal datang ke China dulu kan? Itu Nabi Muhammad suruh sahabatnya berdakwah ke Negara China dulu dan kemudian ke Negara India pula."

"Eh..? You pun tahu pasal Islam disebar ke arah China dulu?"
"Saya dapat A dalam subjek Sejarah STPM you tahu ke? Sebenarnya I pun ada juga minat dengan Islam, Cuma I tak berdaftar menjadi Muslim sepenuh masa saja."

I feel surprised with his answer. The only thing is I can't tell whether he was telling truth or not. As Iman is unable to see with eyeballs except the acknowledgement of God alone. I just can't tell and only Allah SWT is All-Knowing.

Dan di antara manusia ada yang berkata: “Kami telah beriman kepada Allah dan kepada hari akhirat”; padahal mereka sebenarnya tidak beriman.

(Al-Baqarah : 8 )

Grand Ma Is Passed Away

I was standing beside grand ma's coffin and staring at her face. Where it have an opened glass window to let relatives have a last peep of her, just like a sealed window glass. She seems lying inside there peacefully, no more suffered from chest pain and gone away at age 80.

This is also my most frightened moment. My mother was arguing with me after I embraced Islam :" I'll see how you going to attend my mother's funeral, since you are so fanatic in becoming malay and forgotten your descendant's tradition." I wasn't really replied to her question, just remain silent like hush puppies. It's a tough issue between my mother and me, where I strictly follow Islam's syariah and insisted not doing any tradition that against syariah, which is workship other than God.

At last I was attending my grand ma's funeral too. My brother was criticize to family that I won't turn up in this sort of funeral, since I am no more chinese style or whatever. In a matter of fact I attended in giving respect to those who still alive yet not following any ritual that brings syirik. I can't remember how many years I have been not visit most of my relatives and cousins, they seems a bit unfamiliar with me while I was turn up from nowhere.

Some of my cousins didn't really welcome me, they seems not even interested to talk with me. After a while I recalled that I wasn't attend their marriage ceremony which held at chinese seafood restaurant. I just don't know how to avoid consume beer and pork at such restaurant so I was chosen not to attend.

Well... All of my relatives remains unknown about my religion status.

Standing In The Crowd

It was the last day of funeral, according to buddhism it must be prayed day and night for 5 days before it get buried. The only different is my grand ma chosen in "cremation" way while she was alive. (Pembakaran mayat) I still can feel there was an unpleasant smell after the coffin putted for 5 days although I was standing far away from the house.

All of my relatives and grand ma's neighbor is crowded all over funeral ceremony.
At the moment, I found out that my might is very small and little in standing on the right path. Everyone were busy in preparing for the last praying ceremony and waiting for the monk, I was standing far away from it and fallen into deep thought. It seems like the history of Prophet Muhammad SAW is keep repeating at our daily life, where Islam insist in forbidden descendant's tradition that brings syirik.

As a small tiny role in my family tree, I don't have much power to speak out my voice about the reason of why they shouldn't follow descendant's path. It's an important family tradition to whole family and relatives who flowing chinese blood inside. Never tried to challenge old folk's words, just obey to the eldest decision.

That's the reason I still being stealth Muslim in protecting my faith. This is a never ending religion conflicts till the end of world. My might is still very small in declare my religion status, the least thing I can do is only protect my own faith.

Dan mereka (yang mengingkari kerasulan Nabi Muhammad itu) merasa hairan, bahawa mereka didatangi oleh seorang Rasul pemberi amaran, dari kalangan mereka sendiri. Dan mereka yang kafir itu berkata: “Orang ini adalah seorang ahli sihir, lagi pendusta. 

” Patutkah ia menafikan tuhan-tuhan yang berbilang itu dengan mengatakan: Tuhan hanya Satu? Sesungguhnya ini adalah satu perkara yang menakjubkan!”

Dan (ketika itu) keluarlah ketua-ketua dari kalangan mereka (memberi peransang dengan berkata): “Jalan terus (menurut cara penyembahan datuk nenek kamu) dan tetap tekunlah menyembah tuhan-tuhan kamu. Sebenarnya sikap ini adalah satu perkara yang amat dikehendaki.

” Kami tidak pernah mendengar tentang (soal mengesakan Tuhan) itu dalam ugama yang terakhir; perkara ini tidak lain hanyalah rekaan dan dusta semata-mata”.

(Sad : 4-7)    

Which Path To Go?

"Are you going to follow us turning around your grand ma's coffin and praying for her?" My mother Asked. I was silent and hesitated. "Just a very last time for your dear grand ma, is your religion so hard that forbid you to bless your own grand ma?"

It really struggled my mind and soul. My mother was begging me to do one last praying ceremony also avoid other relatives gossip about I have no longer follow family traditions. Gossip kills a cat too.

At last, I was telling my mother :"Sorry, I think I should go somewhere else."
"Alright alright, then you should take the back path of house and don't you ever let anyone see your existence. I will call you when we finished the praying ceremony."

Although I attended my grand ma funeral, I insisted not holding joss stick or praticing any other praying ceremony. It's seems so easy to follow the theory but it's very hard to walk away from the mist of ritual and sadness.

I was sitting in my car and look at the sky blue clouds.
It was so calming.

Bad Signs Or Sweet Coincidence

There are two things about grand ma that captured my attention.

The first one is few days before my grand ma passed away, the day I visited her at hospital. I still remember she was lying on the bed but she still able to talk with good strenght, as if she is never sicked before. I was just smiling at here and nothing much to talk, she was telling my father that she feel pain while coughed.

I left hospital and feel relief, she seems healthy and shouldn't be anything to worry about. After funeral finished, my father telling me that she was fall sick badly and lying on bed whole day. But she turn out to be cherish and able to talk a lot on the day I visited her. She even joking and chit chat with those relatives after I left.

"Perhaps that's a bad sign of she going to leave us, she turn out to be cherish and healthy then fall asleep forever."

I don't know whether that's a bad sign according to my father or just sweet coincidence for having the last memories with my grand ma, I still believe that everyone's life is controlled by the God who creates universal. He is Al-Mighty in controlling every lives and dead.

Dan mereka (yang kafir) itu berkata: “Adakah apabila kami telah hilang lenyap dalam tanah, kami pula akan hidup semula dalam bentuk kejadian yang baharu? Betulkah demikian? ” (Mereka bukan sahaja tidak percaya tentang hidup semula) bahkan mereka tidak percaya tentang pertemuan dengan Tuhannya.

Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad); “Nyawa kamu akan diambil oleh Malikil Maut yang ditugaskan berbuat demikian ketika habis ajal kamu, kemudian kamu akan dikembalikan kepada Tuhan kamu (untuk menerima balasan)”.

(As-Sajdah : 10-11)

Bad Dreams

The second one is about my grand ma's bad dream.

"While I was accompany your grand ma at hospital for the last few nights, she was dreaming and muttering : " I feel very hot.... It's very hot in here, how long do I have to walk?". I guess your grand ma is knowing that she will be sent to cremation." My mother told me this while on the way back from cremation center.

I can't analysis dream, but for sure I know what it roughly means.

The answer can be very controversial. I just telling my mother don't think too much, she was very ill in sickness and makes her drown in nightmares.
We all know the spirit/roh is exist but no one able to capture one and do research on it. Because that's beyond our knowledge level we don't even know do it exist at the same dimensions we are living now.

Dan mereka bertanya kepadamu tentang roh. Katakan: “Roh itu dari perkara urusan Tuhanku; dan kamu tidak diberikan ilmu pengetahuan melainkan sedikit sahaja”.

(Al-Israa : 85)

Conclusion : Ritual And God's Religion

From what I know, ancient Egyptians do have their specific view about Roh/spirit.  From artwork we may know it seems like a bird with human head in charge for "install" and "uninstall" spirit, where pharaoh will become divine one day. 

Why bird is related in describing spirit? Because human's mind is limited in knowing the greatest myth of God, or I should say no one able to understand the most out of God's unlimited knowledge in handling His creations. What human able to do is only observe universal and nature with the helps of science equipment, thus that's still a lot more mystery awaits human to discover.

The bird is taken as an theory because according to their limited view and mind, spirit should be able to carry away and put it back again.... with the helps of bird? That's clearly showed that human is always stuck inside their assumption and self made theory.

We are unable to know anything except what God have shows us, we can't see without Might of God in giving us eyes and sense, we can't think without brains that far over achieved than any other creatures on earth. What God have been command us to do is very simple, workship Him and never takes others as god except Allah SWT alone.

Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One, 
Allah , the Eternal Refuge.
He neither begets nor is born,
Nor is there to Him any equivalent."


Reference :
(None of the birdie is hurt their head in this religion theory)


  1. Assalaamu'alaikum warahmatullah

    Dear brother,

    Just glancing here. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. My deep condolence to you and family.


    1. walaikumsalam.

      Thanks for your condolence. Appreciate the one we love..

  2. hi brother good day to you on the first day of chinese new year wow you are so busy until dont want to answer my call wow

    sorry also to here about your grandma passing well her life she was with you for a few year already she now with buddha meaning she have to serve buddha in another world.

    some thing to tell you also my grandpa pass away during the first day of hari raya on where he ask my grandma for a drink of milik and then pengsan and pass away the funeral was at home also well what to do lah

    my grandma fail down at home also on her way she was going down the tangga well the ambulan come to the house and bring her to the normah hospital in kuching sarawak well she was put on the life mesin support you know we all have to wait for her sister from the us to fly down to kuching to see her
    so when my grandma sister arrived to kuching with my grandma brother from the state the were sad to see my grandma

    my grandma got her felling to see and her about there coming and she was happy she pass away in the month of december also what to do

    any where god bless you and keep you brother please do keep in touch ya love to here from you always

    1. thanks for your comment brother, I think every life will come to an end too, appreciate the one we loved always and never treat them rude..

      Sorry to know about your grandma , just the same like me. May god bless you too brother.

  3. 没有知识 - 只有良好的舆论

    没有知识 - 只有良好的舆论。

    1. great poem... bro love to study chinese also?

    2. morning brother apa macam so stress today as so many family problem here and there

      u free or not to chat when latter i call u

  4. 你的友谊是我家以上的天空,



  5. morning brother how are you this few week you must be busy with work and with the family here a lot of story a lot of think when up very high you know dont know what to said how was your weekend with your family

    i here that cheng beng is around the corner my advise to you give some money to your family member to worship your grandma

    not felling so well cough flu not recover yet.

  6. 早晨将是足够时刻的睡眠 早晨将是足够时刻的睡眠。 只有当白天使销魂看起来便宜时,人需要偶尔陶醉,返回在家从激情。 在淫荡有感觉, 神礼物被分配到生育。 狂欢可能导致揭示 仅此一次一个人忽略后果,无私在感觉密室。

  7. 其中每一牺牲什么心脏爱多数,仿效亚伯拉罕,当他 永恒主人的被输送的Isaac, 虽然与重的心脏,忠实地。 爱不掌握,而是给所有事,明白事圣洁在它的火, 注定保留礼物它带来, 首先被放弃欲望, 因为阿拉给一全部一个会要求。

  8. 其中每一我们是象雨水一滴, 在渴沙子的唯一泼溅物。 记住,虽然,下落不单独下跌,产品和生产商盛大 那的和谐很好浇灌平原。 不要认为,然后,那you' 再独自地, A微小的下落在死的土地。 您是风暴,绿色领域将依然存在。


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