Being published in Majalah i (Bulan Mei)

Telahpun menulis blog hampir setahun, semakin berkenalan ramai rakan yang berjinak-jinak mengenali Islam serta bertanya masalah dalam mengendalikan masalah status muslim mualaf. Pada masa yang sama saya juga menerima segelintir komen yang melontarkan kritikan dan penafian dalam blog saya. 

Siapa sangka... Penulisan blog semata-mata juga telah menarik perhatian wartawan Majalah i untuk menyiarkan cerita pengislaman saya dalam bahagian Hidayah Ilahi. 

Syukur Alhamdulilah, saya telahpun mengambil langkah yang terbaik demi Allah SWT. Atas dorongan daripada seorang rakan yang turut menggalakkan saya memulakan Blogging, kemudian saya tenggelam dalam Yes ataupun NO selama berbulan-bulan. 

 "Menulis blog je.. Mungkin ia akan memberikan manfaat kepada muslim"

"Usah payah menulis, siapa yang akan berminat pun?" 

Selepas beberapa bulan teragak-agak dalam penulisan Blog, akhirnya saya telahpun memulakan penulisan Blog pada tahun lepas bulan Jun. Begitu banyak komen yang memberikan dorongan dan sokongan untuk teruskan penulisan blog saya, juga ada yang berkongsi pengalaman mereka sebagai muallaf yang berusaha mencorakkan kehidupan baru.

Akhir kata, jutaan ucapan terima kasih diucapkan kepada rakan-rakan saya sama ada dalam realiti ataupun facebook/blog yang memberikan sokongan dan dorongan kepada saya dalam penulisan blog yang amat kerdil ini. Semoga Allah SWT akan terus membuka hati pintu hambaNya demi menuju jalan yang lurus, amiin.

Demi memelihara hak cipta Majalah i, dipersilakan pembaca kalian membeli satu salinan majalah i untuk membaca artikel mengenai saya. 

(Malunya melihat gambar sendiri dalam majalah huhuhu, siap zoom sehingga setengah page lagi)

Learning Islam, but not born as Muslim

What's the feeling of not learning Islam like born Muslim?

I mean.. I never attended any Islamic class before since kindergarden till graduated. No matter what student's religion except Islam we all have to learn Pendidikan Moral. The most neutral class for various kind of religion followers.. While I was standard 4 my friend keep on argue funny question with teacher in Moral Lesson :" Cikgu, kalao kita dah tahu orang tu mengejek-ejek kita bersama kawan.. Kenapa kita masih perlu memohon dia menjadi kawan baik kita supaya apa tu... 'Menjalin hubungan baik sesama kawan'?? Tak logik langsung pendidikan moral ini.. "

Finally my friend being scolded :" Kamu baca sahaja, jangan tanya banyak! Itulah jawapan yang dituliskan dalam buku teks, hafalkan saja!"

Although his question is very funny but what he really argue is : Do we need to follow something blindly while at the same time we are capable to think and make better decision?

My another friend also told me that he is very admire those who are born muslim. The reason he told me is :" You just look at those born muslim, they can learn Iqra and Tajwid at school, also many important thing like sembahyang and fardu ain. Look at us lah... We are already out of the school and hardly find islamic class, sometime we don't even have time to spend in learning more about Islam."

Sure it's very hard to learn Islam after step into University Pengalaman, everyday barely have time to learn more about Islam.  At the same time I realize that I am not just learn Islam on books but everything that surrounding me. Including how Syariah law controlling community and social conflicts, muslim way of giving blesses and cooperate in daily life, isu Riba and how we can avoid from it by choose the right bank scheme.. And many more. I learn Islam from book and find out more about how it works in reality.

Siapa sangka... Theory Gravati yang menggemparkan dunia itu datang daripada sebiji Epal?

Also what amazed me a lot is science.
Science is just like a spectacular which discover more and more about the myth of universe, surprise keep on coming to human when day goes by. The most typical case is how Isaac Newton found out his theory of Gravitation by watching the fall of an apple from a tree. (For me I would just eat the apple and get away)

Just an red apple but inspired Issac Newton a lot.
Do he create an apple from tree? Or is he just storyteller who beautify the falling of an apple? Nope, he was started to THINK about the creation of Creator. We all are able to think and act, but slowly we all stop asking question about everything around us and think it is very "normal". We get used to everything we have on this world and slowly forget about where it come from...

Learning is a very long journey.
While I was teenage indeed I was doing Religion Comparison under awareness (Except Islam and I wasn't know anything about it) , my father keep on give me input that Buddhism is the right religion. But there were a lot of doubtful statement makes me feel not confident with it, then I go to read a whole lots of book about Philosophy, Religion brief introduction and Science. I am not tend to insult any religion at Malaysia but in a matter of fact I was failed to find "god".

Just like a soul who lost his direction, I was flew to nowhere in this world. What is right or wrong? What is life and death? What is humanity and cruelty? There are just way too much of explanation but yet, there are just a "temporary answer". Today someone may give a statement that everyone agree about it, but tomorrow the same statement being denied and replaced with another "New statement" from human mind. "We are making the 'New World Order'." "We must be keep changing ourselves to stay up at the peak of centuries." "We are...... we must be.... we must deny..... "

"If you are the righteous one, then you will not keep changing your statement. Because the real Answer will be the fixed Answer forever. Especially those question who still not solved by human limited mighty. " I was thinking about it while reading various kind of statement.

When I met Islam, only Allah SWT realize how I was cried happily that I found the truth and God.

Yes, I was not born in Muslim family... I don't have any knowledge about Islam at young age. I don't even know if "god" is existed due to many different kind of religion statement. It's unexplainable experience, just like I have been being live at jungles for ages, suddenly there's a road sign telling where I was come and towards where I should be go.

More and more scientific proof stick itself to Islam, not Islam go to preach what science have proven. This is already a most firm proof that Islam is not from human's mind or mouth. After all when I remember back all those path that I have been walked through...

"Setiap anak dilahirkan secara fitrah, kedua-dua ibu bapanya yang menjadikannya Yahudi, Nasrani atau Majusi." (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

Saya ditakdirkan untuk dilahir pada keluarga yang saya mempunyai sekarang, mereka bukanlah orang Islam. Tetapi adakah ini bermakna saya telah kehilangan fitrah untuk mencari Kebenaran?

I never blame on God that why I was born at non muslim family?
Because I am realize this is my fate to be born in their family, everyone doesn't have the choice to pick which family they want to go but Allah SWT arranging it for every Roh. Without realise, we even have been promised to Allah SWT that to Him we pray since before we were born.

Dan (ingatlah wahai Muhammad) ketika Tuhanmu mengeluarkan zuriat anak-anak Adam (turun-temurun) dari (tulang) belakang mereka, dan Ia jadikan mereka saksi terhadap diri mereka sendiri, (sambil Ia bertanya dengan firmanNya): “Bukankah Aku tuhan kamu?” Mereka semua menjawab: “Benar (Engkaulah Tuhan kami), kami menjadi saksi”. Yang demikian supaya kamu tidak berkata pada hari kiamat kelak: “Sesungguhnya kami adalah lalai (tidak diberi peringatan) tentang (hakikat tauhid) ini”.

(Surah Al-A'raf : ayat 172)

This doubt also asked by my mother : " I raised you up by let you eat Khinzir since small, what have been makes you abandon every chinese tradiontional foods?"

Sure it's weird for my dearest mother who take care of me since I was born, for her I have been let go a lot of things she teach me to do. I am totally changed till she feel that I was cursed by some kind of kampung black magic? The answer is very simple that I am muslim, and I obey to every Hukum Allah SWT. But it seems too hard to let my mother understand the real meaning of it.

When I look back the past path I walked, I have been realized that those childhood and teenage times is not pushing me away from Truth but I was striving hard to it. Due to I was finding the question in my heart and keep on deny the wrong answer, Alhamdulilah finally Allah SWT show me the right path. I would be very confident to say so not because I wasn't know anything about religion then suddenly Islam come to me, but it's simply because I have been read too much religion issue till I found Islam is the One among all of the religion on earth.

Although I am not born Muslim, but I am fully understand at the moment  I was recite Kalimah Syahadah is due to I keen on finding God since I was kid. It doesn't matter that I was born as muslim or not because what most important is am I finding God?

Ehh? Abang cina tu datang dari mana ni?

One day... I decided to learn more about Islam.

So I have been join this primary school Islamic class.. As you can see I was sitting quietly among all of these kids, trying to focus on what ustaz teaching about Islam. I was get special offer in join this lesson..

Hehe no la actually I was in charge officer in managing Camping program for those kids.. I was just Solat Jemaah then standing by to assist ustaz if he need any help while giving speech. When my colleagues taken photo I found out I was accidentally pay too much attention in Tazkirah till I was sit at the same row with kids. Perhaps this is the chance of experience how it feel to be a little kid listen to Tazkirah? 

It doesn't matter that I am born muslim or not.

Because everyone is born in Fitrah, no matter born muslim or non muslim. 

Accident

 

I was just involved in motorcycle accident last week. 

Alhamdulilah I was not severely injured. While crashed and smashed on road my eyes can't see anything. This accident also makes me realized I have been missed a lot of things in my life. A whole lot of things that I still hesitated to do.

After this incident, I try not to hesitate anymore. 

Time wait for no one, there's few dream waiting for me to achieve in my life. 

Between Harrassment and Apologize

 
Since I have been involved in various kind of events with my job position, Bacaan Doa is a must for every opening speech in ceremony. Without feeling hesitated I would raise my hands while baca doa, although this act is always an shocking moment for those who sit beside me.

Of course I can be stay put and pretend that I am not related with Bacaan Doa, but in the name of Allah SWT I still raise my hands and ignore those who look at me with bemused face.

"Masa itu majlis jalan oh... Kita suruh Ikhwan pergi depan baca doa lah. Angkat tangan itu macam dan bla bla bla..."  She raise hands and pretend like muslim who baca doa.

Laughing and harassment from my colleagues make me feel insulted. I don't want to mention their race and religion because it's due to their own personality problem. I tried to calm down myself and give them a smile, perhaps? I never been to live alike others, thus there's a lot of prejudice and criticize waiting aside to smash me hard on my face anytime. Sure it's pain but I am already feel numb with the same situation for many times.

Also, I was went to Kursus Jabatan at Putrajaya.
Unlike other kursus, it specially aimed to train discipline and attitude as Gov Servant. So every muslim who attend this Kursus need to be Solat Jemaah for every prayers. I was wearing Baju Melayu and Kopiah and walking by non muslim as if nothing happen. I pray to Allah SWT and Zikir in solat Jemaah, feeling calm and peacefully in my unstable heart which moves like wave of sea. Well... at the same time I was saw the rude colleague watching me go in and out of Surau and only God know what she gossip with her friends, I tried to comfort myself and keep thinking that it's not a big deal.

While attending kursus I was sharing room with 3 muslim colleagues. Well I guess may be I am the only one chinese male at there... This is the room that I was going to spent with for one week.

At next two morning, I woke up at 5.30AM and go for my Subuh prayers. I also waken up those muslim colleagues who still asleep, I just don't want they feel disturbed that why I went out silently. Untill next few days, a not so friendly Malay Colleagues suddenly tell me this : " Ikhwan, saya ingin memohon maaf."

"Kenapa?" I was shocked with this sudden apologize.
"Sebenarnya saya ni orang yang Racist. Saya tak berapa suka bergaul dengan orang yang berbangsa cina.. Jadi saya ingin memohon maaf kepada kamu dengan apa yang saya telah buat sebelum ini."

I was shocked.
Well he is not really offended me,  just not talked with me even a word and act like I was not existed. Untill now I still not understand why he give me an apologize. However after that we did chit chat like friends untill the Kursus finished.

There's so many different type of people I have to deal in my life.
I never keen on revenge what they insulted me or asking anyone to agree that I am a serious muslim. I just want to live on the path of Islam silently, peacefully... It doesn't matter for me whenever I receive harrassment or apologize, I never put so much hope on humans that never know what will happen next at tommorrow. We all are just servants of Allah SWT no matter what skin colour we have or what is our religion status.

I raise my hands and pray to Allah SWT.
Only to Him I bowed and pray, only to Him I am going back.

Katakanlah: “Sesungguhnya sembahyangku dan ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku, hanyalah untuk Allah Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.

(Al-An’am : ayat 162)