My Lifetime Fasting Journey

"Orang Islam bersembahyang berapa kali pada setiap hari?"
I was sitting at the Pejabat Agama Ipoh counter, the officer asked me questions after I inform him that I wanted to embrace Islam. Mohd Azlan and Shiema were accompany me at behind. It was way back to 2008 year second weeks of Bulan Ramadhan.

There was one indian girl sitting besides foreign man at counter too, what I see was the officer muttering at her. "Kamu ni tudung pun tak pakai, kuku panjang pun tak potong, macam ni ke kamu mahu masuk Islam? Kalao masuk Islam main-main saja, lebih baik kamu balik!"

The Redefinition Of Underground Muslim

Last year I have been written about my status as “Underground Muslim” in previous post. This term have been accidentally spread among reverts muslim to describe their sensitive identity. However from the word itself also caused some unnecessary misunderstand as if “Underground Muslim”  refered to some sort of terrorist activity.

So, I am hereby to redefine the meaning of Underground Muslim.

First, what is Islam?

Kalimat Islam bermaksud tunduk dan taat. Imam Qartubi dalam al-Jamik Li ah-kamil Quran semasa mentafsirkan ayat 19 dalam surah Ali Imran,

“Sesungguhnya agama yang di sisi Allah adalah Islam” berkata, “Islam dalam ayat ini bermaksud ‘iman dan taat’. Pendapat ini berpandukan tafsiran yang dibuat oleh Imam Abu al-Aliyah dan majority ulama mutakalimun”.

At Malaysia have been many people approach Islam slowly and realized Islam is more than what they thought before, it is not just a “Brand” or so called “Jenama” to wear by and live with. The real Islam is we obey and beriman to every commands of Allah SWT. It doesn’t mean Islam have been told us to “Wear like you are Malay” or “Eat what Arabians favorite”, but we all as servants of Allah SWT are given freedom to live what kind of lifestyle we prefer.. And don’t ever try to be close with anything that already forbidden by Allah SWT.

“Dan Kami berfirman :”Hai Adam diamilah oleh kamu dan isterimu syurga ini dan makanlah makanan-makanannya yang banyak lagi baik di mana saja yang kamu sukai dan janganlah kamu dekati pohon ini yang akan menyebabkan kamu termasuk orang-orang yang zalim.”

(Al-Baqarah : 35)

At the same time, Islam also is the religion which most seriously being criticized by Media and society. Not one or two years phenomena but way long ago before Islam was preached, Prophet who preaches Tauhid will be challenged and some of them even killed. Sounds ridiculous but in reality how many muslims have been killed without reason? Hatred and lust have been driven mad those who fight for treasure that never last.

Alhamdulilah, we live peacefully at Malaysia. No oil war and being independent country. But religion issue still arouse among us silently. Non muslim society is still staying at highest hatred stage against Islam. I even have been warned by my family that don’t get too close with Malays, “Otherwise you will be pulled into Islam forcefully...” They added. Although Islam is a universal religion, especially those famous reverts from foreign country like Cat Steven AKA Yusuf Islam, Michael Jackson, and also Peter Sanders… But these foreign reverts still failed to wipe out the most wrong conception in Malaysia that anyone who embrace Islam would turn into Bangsa Melayu.

Not only failed to wipe out, but it also worsen the situation when family member found out one of them embraced Islam. Before I explain more about how family relationship broken due to embrace Islam, I would like to share one real history from Zaman Nabi :

Ammar dan orang tuanya memeluk Islam sejak awal. Mereka memeluk Islam ketika Nabi memilih rumah Arqam bin Abi Arqam sebagai markas dakwah Islam. Ketika kaum musyrik mengetahui bahawa mereka sudah menganut agama Ilahi, para penyembah berhala itu tidak berhenti menyiksa dan menganiaya mereka. 

Ibnu Al-Athir berkata, “Kaum musyrik memaksa tiga orang ini meninggalkan rumah mereka di musim panas dan menghabiskan waktu di tengah angin gurun yang panas membakar. Penyiksaan ini dilakukan berulang kali sehingga Yasir mati kerananya. Suatu hari balunya, Sumaiyah bertengkar dengan Abu Jahal di sekitar masalah ini sehingga orang bengis itu menikam jantungnya dengan tombak. Sumaiyah pun syahid. 

Nabi sangat terharu terhadap penganiayaan mereka. Suatu hari baginda melihat mereka sedang disiksa. Dengan linangan air mata baginda berkata, “Wahai keluarga Yasir! Sabarlah, kerana tempat kamu adalah syurga.”

From many of the reverts friend I knew, most of them choose to hide their Islam identity for protecting their Iman. The main reason is pressure and objection from family will be ruin their Iman and also avoid any excessive acts from family, including being killed. Dignity of family will be totally ruined if one of the family member reverted, they will be insulted and humiliated by everyone. That’s why most of the non muslim family will do whatever it takes to stop family member from embrace Islam, so far what I heard including lock their son in room for weeks, force them to eat Ba Alif Ba Yaa, or even break away their family relationship.

Also some of their parents have heart disease or any kind of it, they are unable to accept any drastic changes in son/daughter religion status. Does anyone willing to kill their parent softly by telling things they most don’t want to hear?

Therefore, between the right and wrong… Islam or Kafir, those who didn’t born as Muslim have been given choice to choose. They have been realized the real meaning of Islam, at the same time Islam is not good to deal with in their own family.

Dan kami tunjukkan kepadanya dua jalan

(Al-Balad : 10 )

In love of Islam and feeling impressed of Allah SWT, they choose to embrace Islam silently without awareness of family. Being as “Underground Muslim”, hiding their kopiah secretly and always go to the most far masjid to sembahyang Jumaat. Pretending as vegetarian to avoid eating any pork or chicken that is not sembelih.. Love to read Islamic books but it always being hide at somewhere.

Back to the story of Yasir as mentioned above…

Setelah Yasir dan isterinya syahid, kaum musyrik menyiksa dan menganiaya ‘Ammar seperti yang mereka lakukan terhadap Bilal. Untuk menyelamatkan nyawanya, tidak ada jalan lagi kecuali berpura-pura membenci Islam. Namun setelah itu dia segera bertaubat. Dengan jantung berdebar dia menjumpai Nabi dan menyampaikan peristiwa itu kepada baginda. 

Lalu Nabi bertanya, “Apakah iman kamu pudar?” Jawabnya, “Hati saya beriman sepenuhnya.” Nabi pun berkata, “Jangan hiraukan kekhuatiran sekecil apa pun dalam benak kamu. Sembunyikanlah iman kamu untuk menyelamatkan diri dari kejahatan mereka.”

Ayat berikut diturunkan sehubungan dengan iman ‘Ammar tersebut :

Barangsiapa yang kafir kepada Allah sesudah dia beriman (dia mendapat kemurkaan Allah), kecuali orang yang dipaksa kafir padahal hatinya tetap tenang dalam beriman (dia tidak berdosa), akan tetapi orang yang melapangkan dadanya untuk kekafiran, maka kemurkaan Allah menimpanya dan baginya azab yang besar.

(An-Nahl : 106)

Underground Muslim is not Munafik, but they are the muslim who striving hard in protecting their Iman. The typical case about Underground Muslim would be Maniam Moorthy, also known as Mohammad Abdullah, was a corporal in the Malaysian Army and a member of the first group of Malaysians to successfully climb Mount Everest. A Malaysian Indian born and raised Hindu, a controversy about his religion arose after his death; he was buried as a Muslim against the wishes of his wife in accordance with a Syariah Court ruling that he had embrace Islam without the knowledge of his family.

Former Prime Minister of Malaysia, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi mentioned few years ago that anyone who want to embrace Islam must be ask permission from their parent or family. Alhamdulilah the suggestion was not launched... Asking permission from family before embrace Islam doesn't solve the problem but worsen it. 

What Underground Muslim need is knowledge, time, money to survive and spiritual supports. Before they are going to expose themselves need lots of time in preparation. We shouldn't condemn them as not Ikhlas or Munafik because they are the one who striving very hard in approaching Islam. 

So what do you think about Underground Muslim now?

Would You Marry Me?

Gambar hiasan semata-mata..

I was met a china friend at internet. She get to know me through my chinese blog. She asked me a lot about Islam information because she does have muslim boyfriend at Malaysia. Where they were plan to get married so as usual she was asked to embrace Islam.

It’s hard to find islamic knowledge in chinese language, since she is china’s civilian. I have few islamic books but all of them are written in Bahasa Malaysia. So I was try hard to translate every answer from my book into chinese language while she ask me at Internet. For few months of communicating through MSN, She tells me a lot about China and herself.

 

“I don’t like to eat pork since I was small, perhaps I should say I never eat at all. My friends also teasing at me that I'm looks like muslim even though  I am not.”
Alhamdulilah, I think she have potiential to learn more about Islam. So I give away all of my effort in translate islamic knowledge to her.

 

“He asked me to convert so we can get married at Malaysia. But I am just don’t understand why Malaysia have such law? Because at China there’s no such law, everyone are feel free to embrace any religion they wanted.. Or I should say religion and marriage is never become an issue in China.”
Well.. This is a complicated question which related to Syariah Law in Malaysia. I was not dare to asnwer it but just get to know a little bit more about China’s politic and laws.

For few months of chatting with her at internet, I written a lot of islamic information and she seems try hard to understand it. Like why muslim don’t drink beer, why muslimah must be wearing hijab and sort of information. She also tell me that boyfriend’s family were welcome her to their house, just she can’t understand Malaysia’s language while they were chit chat. As I know she take flight from China to Malaysia few days in every month for dating with her boyfriend. (Seems like she is raised up in wealthy family)

Untill one day, she told me this…
“Actually… My boyfriend and his father are drinkers. That’s why we are easy to get along since we met at Malaysia.”
“I am just don’t understand… What’s the point if I am following every islamic knowledge as you explained and do it well, but my marriage partner will not follow it at all?” 
 

I was totally shocked. 

Since that day, I didn’t know much to write anymore while she asked me again about Islam. How can she follow Islam while her partner is not? How they live their marriage while her boyfriend just want her to apply a “Permit to get married” by asking her embrace Islam? Dakwah is responsible for every muslim, but when embrace Islam being treated as “Permit in Law”.. I can’t even imagine how’s that gonna be.
 

I am not intend to insult malaysian muslim or Islam, but just wanted to share the real story from my friend. When Islam is being practised for their Nafsu, it would turn into very terrible hoax from themselves. I also recalled lots of cases happened in Malaysia like muallaf wanted to murtad, reason given is they never practice Islam and their husband/wife have left them away, which makes them think what’s the point if they keep on embracing Islam since their partner have been leave them away.

At the next month, She message me at msn again :“I am break up with my boyfriend already.. I am accidentally saw his phone records that he have another girlfriend. That’s why he keeps on hide his handphone while we are dating, now I am understand everything already.. It’s hurt but I think I should leave him, he is not appreciated what I have been sacrifice.”


Alhamdulilah, the only thing I would say.
After that, she is not asked anything about Islam with me anymore. I also understand that I can’t force her.. Perhaps I should say only Allah swt may open her heart one day, Insyaallah.

Dan apabila dikatakan kepada mereka: Janganlah kamu membuat bencana dan kerosakan di muka bumi, mereka menjawab: sesungguhnya kami orang yang hanya membuat kebaikan. Ketahuilah! Bahawa sesungguhnya mereka itulah orang yang sebenarnya membuat bencana dan kerosakan, tetapi mereka tidak menyedarinya.

(Surah Al-Baqarah 11-12)

Kad Akuan Masuk Islam

What frustrated a lot nowadays is do reverted muallaf need to change IC? EPF? Bank Account? From what I know, first they need go to Pejabat Agama and filling Borang Memeluk Islam. Then Pejabat will give a Kad Akuan Masuk Islam. However every state's Kad Islam is different. Like my Perak one is stated Nama Islam, Nama Asal, No. KP and Tarikh Islam.

About IC, Pejabat Agama Perak only advised me go to change IC on my own. Which mean OPTIONAL... Pejabat Agama does not change any muallaf's IC forcefully through their Jabatan, but it's for those muallaf self initiative to do it. Of course there's many people have to hide their Islam identity as they may get fired by employer or being thrown by family.

Tidak ada paksaan dalam agama (Islam), sesungguhnya telah nyata kebenaran (Islam) dari kesesatan (kufur). Oleh itu, sesiapa yang engkar kepada Taghut, dan ia beriman kepada Allah, maka sesungguhnya ia telah berpegang kepada tali yang teguh, yang tidak akan putus. Dan (ingatlah), Allah Maha Mendengar, lagi Maha Mengetahui.


(Al-Baqaraah ayat 256 )

Islam does not wipe away our name. It's still stated Nama ASAL as acknowledgement. The best proof is the Kad Islam above. But most people have been misunderstood about it.

From what I know now, there's a way for muallaf to embrace Islam silently without change IC first. But as for marriage with Muslim, so far I don't have any information about that..

Living without freshness of sea

Apakah perasaannya hidup sebagai mualaf selepas mengucap Kalimah Syahadah?
Soalan yang sering ditanya oleh rakan-rakan melayu saya.

Saya hanya boleh kata, dilahirkan di keluarga cina non muslim, umpama ikan yang dilahirkan atas darat. Ikan yang tidak pernah merasai kenikmatan kolam, sungai atau laut. Berbanding dengan orang yang dilahirkan dalam keluarga islam, mereka umpama dilahirkan dalam laut.. Mereka tidak perlu merempat mencari2 sumber air, kerana air laut sentiasa mengelilingi mereka.

Selepas mengenali zat Allah SWT yang Maha Agung, saya mengucap kalimah Syahadah dengan hati yang rela dan syukur. Akhirnya, perasaan saya seperti ikan yang tak pernah merasai kelazatan air selama 23 tahun, akhirnya kembali ke laut yang begitu luas dan istimewa. Bukan seperti orang lain yang dilahirkan dalam keluarga islam, telah merasai kenikmatan laut sejak hari lahir lagi sehingga tidak boleh terbayang betapa peritnya kehidupan tanpa setitis air..



Syukur Alhamdulillah, saya kembali.
Tidak mungkin, saya akan memaling kepala memandang darat yang telah ditinggalkan.